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You Can't Take my Body if I Don't Have One

from Éist le mo Sc​é​al (Listen to my Story) by Caera

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about

I wrote a first draft of this many years ago, thinking it might become a song some day but I didn’t really want to deal with it. As I was working on healing, and especially once I wrote “The Darkest Night”, this insisted on being finished.

lyrics

A young girl can’t stop eating
until her mother is thrown out
and then she can’t eat

a strange sensation
not a feeling ‘cause there is none
no hunger, no anger, no sadness, no pain, no grief
(no strength for a voice to speak)

Only nothing within her
she gets thinner and thinner
there’s not much left to her
she wanted to go with her mother
no one can hear her
and she can’t either
but inside her is a voice who says
“You can’t take my body if I don’t have one”

a teenage girl becomes a woman
and loathes the shape of her body
she wants you to see through it
she wants to not weigh more than music
she’s hit and she’s running
she’ll outrun what she’s becoming
outrun this fuller body
that You can’t take if I don’t have one

a young woman is dying
her body can’t process food right
even eating constantly she’s losing
still losing weight, and losing this fight
she’s losing everything, losing her life
she still can’t hear the voice inside, who says:
“You can’t take my body if I don’t have one”

A strong will kept her going
She’s been singing and writing
What’s been hidden is now showing
And her world’s started brightening
She went seeking new choices
And discovered new voices
With love she can face the voice inside who says
“You can’t take my body if I don’t have one”

credits

from Éist le mo Sc​é​al (Listen to my Story), released November 1, 2006
Written, composed, and performed by Caera

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Caera Seattle, Washington

From haunting Celtic lullabies, through laments of intense grief and pain, to songs of healing and hope, Caera’s music always contains an authenticity that can be hard to find in today’s music, or even in today’s world in general. Powerful soprano vocals blend with the bell-like tones of her brass-strung Gaelic harp to create music that carries people through life, dreaming or fully awake. ... more

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